


no one else sparks my life like you do

by Itslynxa



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Captivity, First Kiss, Getting Together, M/M, Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Miscommunication, There is not a lot of angst but it is there.........., There is swearing I am sorry, like a lot of it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:41:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26603125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Itslynxa/pseuds/Itslynxa
Summary: Merlin wakes up in an unfamiliar place, wounded and sore, with Gwaine knocked out on the ground beside him. What will they do, and why does Gwaine think he prefers Arthur over him?
Relationships: Gwaine/Merlin (Merlin)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 125





	no one else sparks my life like you do

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SneakyBoyMerlin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SneakyBoyMerlin/gifts).



> Around a few weeks ago, Eru mentioned on their Tumblr that their birthday is coming up, on 23rd September, and that they were requesting merwaine oneshots - and me being the people pleaser said yes, I will do it, despite not knowing them. To now, where Eru and I have connected and speak each night, mostly of merwaine and the show itself.
> 
> I have not known you long, Eru, but I am glad that you are in my life, thank you for opening up my eyes to merwaine and making me feel things. Happy birthday and I love you buddy.
> 
> Sneakyboymerlin, AKA Eru, at some point: 'I want to read a fic where Gwaine and Merlin are in captivity, and Gwaine gives them information or something to let them go but Merlin ends up revealing his magic to save him." I took inspiration from this, and ran along with it.

Merlin awakes to the sensation of constant ringing in his ears and the sudden rush of lightheadedness when he moves ever so slightly - he doesn't remember being in this state before he fell asleep. 

It is rather difficult for him to remember what has happened, and why there is a decomposed corpse staring at him. He jumps at the sight, and it sparks severe pain in places that he never knew existed - shamefully though, he is the physician's ward, he should know about human anatomy more by this point. 

He blames his magical adventures on the lack of furthering his occupation - and he needs to stop getting distracted, there are other pressing matters at hand right now.

Speaking of hands, he finds one reached out towards him - smothered in both dried up dirt and blood. It is attached to someone, who is somehow still alive (unlike the corpse perked against the wall, opposite him), and then he realises it must be the other person who accompanied him before this whole ordeal.

'Gwaine, are you awake?', whispers Merlin.

The only response he receives is a deadly silence from the room, except for scurrying rats travelling in the cracks of the walls.

'Unbelievable', he murmurs.

He attempts to perk himself more up against the wall, reminiscent of the decomposed body in front of him, but all it does is bring him more ache - but he ignores it temporarily for the sake of balancing himself. It fortunately works. However, the wall behind him is strangely sodden - presumably with blood or other fluids - but he prefers not to question it, for his sanity and lack of actual curiosity.

Merlin takes the opportunity to observe the room, something that he should have done right off the bat - and it is darker than he thought, with some shine gleaming through the dirty windows. He knows he should try to wake his friend again, so he does. 

'Gwaine?'

Yet again, the deadly silence overshadows the room, so he reaches down to the hand closest to him, grasping it. There is no reaction from that, so he shuffles his body along the wall, in the attempts to get closer, and he succeeds - with searing pain in his middle, taking away the brief victory of the task.

Merlin takes a gander at the knight, still conscious as before, and places a hand on the part of his shoulder blade where the back deviates. The hand instinctively travels down, and he cannot bring himself to stop the motion though he ought to by now, he no undoubtedly an unwelcoming touch. He never dares to express his feelings - this is the closest he may ever get, 'wake up, mate, I need you.'

There is a twitch underneath his hand, 'Merlin?', asks Gwaine who leans into the touch.

'Yes, it's me.'

'Where are we?', questions Gwaine, 'I don't remember much of what happened.'

Merlin sighs, 'I don't know, but are you okay?'

There is a moment of silence, 'yeah I think so, how about you?'

'No, not exactly, but I will be alright', responds Merlin.

Gwaine adjusts the position of his hands, so they are both on the floor, and stands up - there is a rush throughout his body, from what Merlin guesses since his friend balances himself on the same wall as him. 'Are you sure that you are alright?', asks Merlin, who wishes he could help the situation.

'Yeah, I just felt a little giddy, don't you worry about me.'

He smiles, despite the ordeal. Gwaine observes him, and no doubt his injured state, and suddenly there is a body slugged next to his, an arm draped over his shoulders rather protectively, 'how are you doing gorgeous?'

Merlin chuckles, 'I see that even in a time of crisis, you can still manage to lighten the mood.'

'Of course', says Gwaine, 'so what is our plan of action?'

'I don't know, certainly getting out of this treacherous place for starters', replies Merlin, 'aren't you supposed to be the knight here?'

'Yeah, but we both know that you are the mastermind of the two of us.'

Merlin feels an intense rush of ache, suddenly, and he puts pressure on the wounds, unable to inspect them properly right now - and there's another hand on the wound. Their fingers intertwine, but he is unsure if it is on purpose or not, an analysis for a different time and place (preferably alone and not suffering in pain, for one).

'We need to get you help', says Gwaine.

'Yeah, but I don't reckon that our captors will suffice.'

'Shit, yeah, I forgot about that', answers Gwaine.

Merlin feels drained. 'I wonder how long it has been since we've been out on our quest.'

'I think a few hours, at the most', says Gwaine, 'you know, I bet the princess is worried about you.' 

He merely scoffs, 'I doubt he has even noticed that I left, but he would notice your absence though, after all, you are a knight of his. I'm just his manservant.' 

'You shouldn't sell yourself short - he cares for you.'

'That he may, though I don't believe it, who says I care about him in return?'

Gwaine does not believe him for a second, 'we both know that you do.'

'Alright, I do', says Merlin, 'I care for all of my friends.'

'Yet you would choose him over anybody else.'

Merlin does not know to respond, to explain himself - that he has a destiny that overpowers his individuality, his choices, and that if he could choose, Gwaine would be his choice every single time (even if the options were him and Arthur). He also does not want to ruin the friendship, for the sake of him expressing his romantic feelings - there are only so many friends that he has, especially ones like Gwaine. There are so many obstacles stopping him from telling the truth.

'I thought so.'

Merlin should take the courage to say something, to express his feelings and tell him the truth - but he cannot bring himself to, in the fears of rejection - for his feelings and magic. He does not say anything else on the subject, changing it quickly, 'do you think there is a way out of here, or do you think we are fucked for sure?'

Gwaine glances around, 'I think we are fucked, I don't see any form of escape right now, and you are certainly not in the state to do so.'

'You're right', responds Merlin, 'do we just wait?'

'There's not much else we can do right now.'

'I feel like taking a nap', states Merlin.

'Aren't you supposed to stay awake when you are injured?', asks Gwaine, who seems confused.

Merlin chuckles, 'you are thinking of concussions, which I don't think I have.'

'Then how many fingers am I holding up?', questions Gwaine, using his free hand to signal three fingers up.

'Three', Merlin says confidently.

'Correct, you seem to be fine in the head, but I am no physician.'

'Everyone else seems to beg to differ, especially Arthur.'

Gwaine laughs, 'I think the princess is the one who isn't fine in the head.'

'Yeah, I agree, why else would he be such a prat?'

Both of them start laughing, and everything feels normal again - even for the moment. The reality of the situation comes at brutal force once again, when searing pain punches through Merlin from too much movement, blaming it on the moments of laughter. Gwaine presumably feels him tense up, as he eases the pressure on the wound - their fingers are still intertwined, and it makes him feel at peace.

'Try and relax, keep your mind off things', suggests Gwaine.

'That is much easier said than done, Gwaine, not with all the thoughts running around in my head. I'm also uncomfortable sat up like this against the wall, but there's nothing else to rest on.'

Gwaine comes up with an idea, by the look of his face, 'you can always rest on me if you want?', he asks.

'Alright, if you do not mind, thank you', replies Merlin, moving away from the position against the wall.

Hands are wrapping around his sides, suddenly, hoisting him up and placing him down on his friend's lap, 'I mean that also works', says Merlin with a brief laugh. Gwaine releases the grasp on him but keeps an arm around him, rather protectively, and Merlin finds himself snuggling against the chest. 

'Comfortable?', asks Gwaine, smiling.

'Yeah, thank you', answers Merlin, becoming flustered from being pressed against the person he fancies. He feels like a lovesick maiden, being flushed and all. 

'No problem.'

Merlin places his left hand on Gwaine's waist, before sneaking it around his back, initiating a cuddle of sorts. Gwaine takes the hint, wrapping both of his arms around the servant, nuzzling his face into Merlin's slightly sodden mane of hair. He feels warm for the first time since waking up, and he blames his constant rosed state. 

'Does this make you uncomfortable?', questions Merlin, feeling as if he is overstepping a physical boundary. 

'No', Gwaine's hand starts travelling up and down the back, and Merlin remembers himself doing the same action earlier, 'I am fine with this. I'm not in pain or anything', says Gwaine.

'That's good.'

Merlin grins in response, feeling soothed through the touch that is travelling on his back, but the exhaustion hits him all of a sudden, all too overwhelming - his eyes struggling to stay open. The exhaustion consumes him before he can even think once more.

-

'I see that our prisoners are cuddling up together, how sweet', the mysterious woman comments, 'I never thought I would see such affection between a knight and a servant.'

Merlin jumps out of his skin, waking his friend up in the process, 'are you the one who captured us?'

'Why yes, of course, why else would you be here in my cell?', the woman responds.

Gwaine tightens their embrace, 'you are lucky that you are not in the cell with us right now - I would strike you where you stand.'

The woman merely laughs, 'I would love to see you try.'

Merlin instinctively goes into defensive mode, moving to give the woman a piece of his mind, but a hand on his chest stops him, 'stop, it is too dangerous for you to get involved, and besides you are beyond injured. I could never live with myself if you got more hurt - and I did nothing to prevent it.'

He understands the concern.

'I would hate to break up a pair of lovers, but you are not making it out of this place alive.'

Merlin instantly flushes at the assumption, 'and what use would it be to kill us?'

'You are bait', says the nameless woman, 'I wish for the king's presence and if I do not get it - you will both cease.'

'Of course, it is about the prat.'

'You do not favour the king?'

'I do', admits Merlin, 'I still think he is a prat.'

'Interesting.'

Gwaine rolls his eyes, seemingly fed up with the talk of Arthur. 'How long do you plan on keeping us here?'

'A few days, at the most, why?', she smirks, 'If you are worried about privacy with your lover, then you needn't to.'

Merlin cannot tell if his friend is uncomfortable with the accusations, and he knows that the conversation likely wouldn't end well if he questioned it.

'My partner needs medical attention', says Gwaine.

The woman's eyes glow golden, as a teaser of a sort, 'I possess healing magic, I can heal him for you.'

'Please.'

She laughs mockingly, her eyes fading into their original blue, and leaves the premises laughing the entire time. They take that as a firm decline in their request. 

There are a few moments of silence when the door closes. 

'I cannot believe that she teased us on purpose', says Gwaine.

Merlin does not know what of that he is referring to, but he nods regardless, 'I never expect captors to be helpful.'

'Yeah, for sure.'

He feels a burst of encouragement - perhaps from the generosity of his friend, or how they have been embraced for several hours when Gwaine could have easily let him go. 'You know', he begins to say, 'I am glad that I am being held captive with you, rather than anybody else.'

Gwaine looks surprised, and he finds it hard to understand why. 'I thought you would prefer the princess's company over mine, most people do.'

'No, never', confesses Merlin, 'you are the spark of my life.'

'You mean that?'

Shit. 'Erm - yeah, I do.'

'I take it that you didn't mean to say that?', asks Gwaine, laughing with a hint of nervousness.

'No, but I do mean it though if you are questioning my sincerity.' 

The knight glares at him, with a nameless glimmer in his eyes, 'I believe you, and I think the same of you, you know?'

Merlin does not quite believe that knowing the opinion of him would change if Gwaine knew the truth - in regards to his magic, and these romantic feelings, but there are times like now where he does consider risking it all. For the sake of freedom, and human connection, something he rarely has the luxury of having. He ardours the way that he has to hide the fibre of his being, to save his skin.

'Are you alright?', asks Gwaine, forcing Merlin out of his thoughts. 

'Yeah, alright as I can be right now.'

'Good.'

Gwaine is absentmindedly brushing Merlin's fingers with his, and the servant notices that their hands have not loosened their hold, neither of them has pulled away just yet. He does not have a plan of escape, and he knows he is not quite in the right state to leave - and there is a part of him that wants him to stay, to spend more personal time with his friend (without looking obvious). 

They spend the next few hours mindlessly chattering, telling stories of their adventures, there is nothing else that they can do.

-

The mysterious woman returns late into the night, leaving a tray of food rations on the ground outside of the cell, for them to retrieve. 

Merlin finds it oddly considerate, but then he recalls that there is no use of leaving them to starve, not when they were supposedly the bait for the King of Camelot's rescue. 

The food gets rationed, with him insisting that Gwaine takes the better portion, but the man with the noble heart rejects it, insisting that he should have it instead. 

He ends up with the better portion, with the stubborn knight beyond pleased with himself.

-

It has been around four days, and there has been no sign of their king yet. 

Merlin's wounds are slowly recovering, and he appreciates it for one, and after the second day, he takes the liberty of moving away from Gwaine - who surprisingly puts up a fuss about it. 

The mysterious woman, their captor, has grown disheartened, from the lack of presence from the king. However, she has also grown more aggressive since the first day of their capture, which does not particularly surprise either of them.

Merlin is sluggishly leaning against the wall when the mysterious woman returns, hours after her last visit, and she looks furious, 'why hasn't your king arrived to rescue you yet?', she asks. 

'I do not know', says Merlin, 'do you expect them to find us without giving them direction? The knights are mindless a lot of the time.'

There is a subtle nudge, a lighthearted punch, on his arm, 'do you forget that I am one of the knights too?'

'You are the brains of the roundtable, is all, and since you are not there - they are mindless.'

The woman kicks the cell's bars, presumably to catch their attention - it works, 'if I wanted to hear a lover's quarrel, I would have visited my sister and her husband instead of you two', she states, 'I am growing exhausted of you two. I should kill you right about now.' 

She teleports herself in the cell, with them being gob-smacked, goes for the servant first. 

Gwaine jumps in front of him, a human shield of sorts, and the woman snickers at the bravery from the knight - he feels helpless. He did not even register the dagger in her hand until it is pressed against his friend's neck, threateningly, nipping some minor capillaries in the process. 

'I wouldn't test me if I were you, sir knight, I am more powerful than you with a single touch of a hand.'

Merlin feels immense guilt, overcome with unexplained fiery and rage, and his magic reacts before him - the woman flies back into the bars, dropping her dagger in the midst of it. There is a deadly silence in response to the action, and he can feel his heartbeat thumping through his ears.

'Why - isn't that a surprise? The servant has magic.'

He is too afraid to speak, to even glance at his friend's direction, too busy cursing himself into oblivion. 'I do', he finally says, 'I am not afraid to use it.'

The woman sees it as a challenge, 'it seems that you have not told your beloved, based on the look of his face right now - oh dear, have I broken up a beautiful relationship? That is rather a pity.' 

Gwaine is too stunned to comment, still standing in front of him protectively, though he can very well handle himself at this point.

'I'm sorry', says Merlin, while raising his hand - the woman engulfs in flames that came out of seemingly nowhere. It is unclear whether he is apologising to the woman or the man that he loves, he thinks, but both would be true to some extent. 

'Oh.'

'Are you angry with me?', asks Merlin, who does not know what to do now - though the obvious answer would be to leave, 'I won't blame you if you are.'

He is terrified of the outcome, but the fortunate result of revealing his magic is their assess to an escape - the bars are melting as he thinks. And he finds himself not regretting a single thing right now (surprisingly, given that he may have fucked the relationship between him and Gwaine from this). 

'I don't know how I feel about it if I am honest.' 

'I see', he answers, 'I suppose that is better than anger, it is the most that I can ask for.'

Gwaine takes his hand, to hoist him up from the position against the wall, and does not let go when he is standing - he takes it as a good enough sign that he has not fucked everything up. He grins, taking it as a relief, and the knight guides him out of the now melt bars, and they are finally free of the hellish cell. 

Merlin does not know his friend's stance on the situation, but he doesn't want to press on the matters to find out, so he stays in silence for the time that Gwaine does. They go to manoeuvre themselves out of the premises, staying alert in case of other presences around - they were not sure if the woman had backup.

There is a long corridor with doors along the walls, on both the left and the right, it feels impossible to navigate. Merlin stays behind the knight, a hand tightens its hold on his, and he feels guarded, his front keeps bumping into his friend's back. 

It takes them a quarter of an hour to find the outlet of the long corridor, and it turns out that the woman has no backup of sorts. The place is reminiscent that of a hovel, and his mind automatically thinks of the old Lady Morgana. 

Merlin checks for food supplies, and he finds a gold mine, a combination of fruits, vegetables and more - anything will fill his appetite at this rate, and he tucks in without even thinking of the repercussions. It tastes exquisite like he has had food in his life before this. 

'You remind me of a woodland creature', comments Gwaine, and it is the first thing he has said in the last hour or so. 

'Hush, I am hungry', he defends, 'do you want some or?'

'Of course, I am starved, mate.'

Gwaine inspects the food supplies, questioning whether he should be going through with the decision, but dives in anyway. 

'How do you suppose that we get out of here?', asks Gwaine.

Merlin feels dumbfounded, 'that I don't know.'

'I thought, you know', the knight answers, 'your magic would tell you the answers.'

'It is not a sixth sense, though sometimes it does feel like it is.'

'I understand why you didn't say anything about it before, with me being a knight and all. I cannot say that I am fully on board with it though - but I am more than willing to learn to love it; if it means to keep you in my life forever.'

'Really?', queries Merlin, who does not quite comprehend it. 

'Yes, of course, you know that I would do anything for you.'

Merlin beams, 'I would normally disagree, but I think you are right on this one.'

He looks around for a handbag, something that can carry items as storage, and finds one hidden in a cupboard, filling it to the brim with food and other essentials from the hovel. He throws it over his back.

It is their cue to try and leave the premises, without being caught in the act by any unwelcomed guests.

-

The escape route from the hovel, or whatever the correct term for that horrid place, says disaster written all over it. It is unfamiliar to them both, even for the knight who knows most of the lands like the back of his hand - it is peculiar. 

'I don't know where we are', says Merlin.

'Strangely enough, neither do I.'

There is a seemingly endless forest, with trees reaching their peak, and there is something about the place that does not fit right with him. He does not suspect that there are other routes to go about returning home, to Camelot, and does not fancy checking around now. 

'So, who knows about your magic?', asks Gwaine out of nowhere.

'A few people, like Gaius and Lancelot mostly.'

'I see, so the princess does not know?'

Merlin nervously chuckles, 'no, I do not fancy an execution for my birthday, thank you.'

'You believe that he would execute you?'

'Maybe, but I do not want him to have to choose.'

Gwaine smiles, 'ever so the selfless man, Merlin.' 

'I mean, he would choose you though, wouldn't he?', inquiries Gwaine knocking leaves out of their path of way, almost catching in some fatal dead ends in the process, 'Are you two...not together?'

'No - to both of those questions, I would never.'

He thinks that he hears a sigh of relief from his friend, but he blames it on the gush of wind that follows. 

'Then why do you choose him over anybody else?'

'A few reasons, but if I had a choice, I would personally not choose him every time.'

Gwaine stops in his track, 'care for explaining those reasons?'

'I don't know if right now is the best time.'

'Later then?'

'Later.'

Gwaine continues walking, and he follows. Though the escape route that they are taking right now screams danger, nature itself feels tranquil, making him feel the most alive he has in days. He needs the feeling of ease, for he does not know the outcome of returning home, and whether the knight will tell on him - as he legally should do (but likely won't). 

'If you didn't have to choose Arthur then, who would you choose?'

'You.'

He collides into Gwaine, who has stopped in his tracks once again, turning around to meet his gaze. 'Do you mean that?'

'Yes, do you not believe me?'

'I am convinced that you are fucking with me right now.'

Merlin scoffs, 'I cannot believe that you doubt my sincerity right now, after all that we have been through these past days', he says while storming off ahead. 

He is furious, too blinded by walking away from the conversation that he does not register the river before falling in it, sinking. 

'Merlin!', the knight bellows before hurrying over to help - pulling him out of the river with minimal effort, and they both crash into the grass behind them. 

'I am not questioning your sincerity - I just do not believe it', says Gwaine out of breath.

'Like that is any better, mate.'

Merlin retires against the grass, for the time being, the adrenaline coursing through him more than ever before.

'I fancy you.'

He twists his head around, almost snapping his neck in response, to glance at the other man (who looks on edge himself).

'That is why I reacted like that', the man continues, 'it makes you sound like you could feel the same, which I know that you do not, but it got my hopes up.'

Merlin is astonished, and his friend is starting to move away from the grass - his hand reacts before he does, grasping onto his arm to stop him from leaving. There are eyes on him, and he cannot stop himself (to think of the consequences) from making a move, although knowing that the other person feels the same, through kissing on the mouth.

There is an immediate reaction, his eyes shut close, and he is driven further into the grass with a body leaning over him, and his hands tangle themselves in the long mane of hair. He should let go and breathe, but oxygen cannot compare to the taste of Gwaine's lips right now, so he does not hesitate to deepen it, fingers brushing his cheeks as he does so.

He needs to exhale, he pulls away, feeling lightheaded. It seems to have the same reaction on Gwaine, who flushes pink from head to toe, and he snickers for causing such a state. It feels like payback from their cuddling - and the flushing reaction he had back then, though he does not know whether it was intentional or not.

'Woah.'

'Yeah.'

Gwaine kisses him again, 'I cannot believe that you were hiding that from me this whole time.'

Merlin snickers, 'in my defence, I never thought you would feel the same, maybe we could have been doing this for ages?'

'Yeah, we could have, but I guess that now is better than later', says Gwaine, 'so you do fancy me then?'

'Yes, I do.'

'We also could have been shagging this entire time - you do realise that right?'

Merlin bursts into laughter, 'of course you would go there', he says.

Gwaine also laughs, 'I also cannot believe that the woman assumed that we were already lovers.'

'Yeah, I remember that at least I know that you don't mind that.'

'Did you think that I was uncomfortable with the idea?'

He nods, and he kisses once again, his nails clawing into the shoulders of the other man's nice jacket, 'I like the idea of us being lovers.'

'I can arrange that, love.' 

The sun is going down, and they detach themselves from each other after another solid couple of minutes of kissing - he cannot get enough of it and him. 

It takes an hour to leave the forest route, with pauses to kiss or fondle each other against the trees, and the end of it takes them to a familiar path - finally so.

'I will not tell a soul of your magic.'

'Thank you.'

'Of course, now let's hurry up back home gorgeous, I finally have the opportunity to shag you - I am not going to pass it up now because of our slowness.'

Merlin laughs the entire way home.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this fic! I hope that you've enjoyed the read and that it is coherent enough for you to understand (yes, I worry about the coherency). 
> 
> Feel free to leave comments/kudos, I crave validation, and also feel free to follow me on Tumblr (my username is Itslynxa, like on here).
> 
> Merwaine fuck <3


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